Don't you give up. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.
If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize, who you are and what you want to become in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape your journey by default. Your silence makes you reactive vs. proactive. God will bring people in your life that can take you on many different journeys that will bring about different outcomes to your life mission.